and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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