Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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