This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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