So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
