I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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