we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my being single is dangerous.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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