I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
