hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
