I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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