At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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