He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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