Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
