Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
