so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
