Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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