That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
