Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
