i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
