Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
