It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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