Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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