I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
