Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Randomize
