the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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