What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
