if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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