Got a toothbrush?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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