sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
