Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
