That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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