We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
