btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize