She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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