yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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