I puked a lego.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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