Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Randomize