there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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