i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
