Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
