You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i think i just lost a toe
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
