no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
