Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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