I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
