There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
