White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
