best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
