hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
