miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
