dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
