Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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