Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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