She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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