I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
