I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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