Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
