I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
