Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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