Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
