no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
