I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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