Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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