A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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