girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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