that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
